Pulling Teeth with Pliers... Or, Writing a Great Synopsis

It's Friday! *does Friday dance involving flailing of arms and awkward hip swings* Want to know something even better than Friday (no, not wine)? Tomorrow, I'm off to the sunny climes of Cairo for two weeks! Not to worry, though, I'll still be blogging as much as I can, as per usual. While my in-laws go off for hours in Arabic I haven't a hope in hell of understanding, I'll be tucked in the corner, tapping away at my lovely little laptop. We are still planning our regular outings to the Pyramids, the market, Memphis and Alexandria, so I will have plenty of photos to share.

Now. Onto more serious things: the dreaded synopsis. If you're not a writer, consider yourself very lucky that this is something you've escaped. For me, it's like pulling out my own teeth with rusty pliers while someone hammers nails into my eyeballs. Oh yes, it's just that much fun. Luckily, today I've got Crabbity Bat (her words, not mine) and absolute writing genius Nicola Morgan here to talk about her new book, Write a Great Synopsis.

Take it away, Nicola!

Hello Talli and Talli’s lovely readers!

Thank you so much for letting me visit again. I’m very honoured and in recognition of that I’ve brought some champagne. *pops cork* Cheers!

Since most or many of your readers aren’t writers, I thought I’d say something that might interest both groups.

Writers get horribly vexed about synopses.  Many of us (not me, tbh) would rather eat witchety grubs than write one, and yet quite happily sit down to write a 100,000 word novel. Thing is, making a few words work well is hard. Blaise Pascal famously apologised (in French) for writing such a long letter, saying he didn’t have time to write a short one. And there’s a real truth in that. And what writers have to do is turn a 100,000 word thing into something very short – maybe 600 words – and that’s very hard.

On the other hand, Tolstoy said, “No book should be too complex to explain to a barmaid.” (Very rude to barmaids, imo.) Indeed, Anna Karenina may be long but it’s far from complex – omit the farming, and there’s very little left to go in the synopsis.

Actually, I also think it might be easier for a reader to produce a good synopsis of a book than its writer. In fact, one of the things I recommend to writers in Write a Great Synopsis (WAGS!) is to forget your book, or forget the details. If you forget the details and sequences, what you’re left with is the core – what and who it’s about and how the story ends, bringing the memorable driving forces together.

Writers, please stop worrying! WAGS covers everything about synopsis-writing, clearly and reassuringly. At the end of it I believe you truly will say to yourself, “Don’t panic – it’s only a synopsis!

And readers, next time you pick up a new book, spare a thought for the poor writer who almost certainly had to write a sparkly synopsis before getting the deal! 

Thanks for listening, everyone. I’d be really interested to hear your thoughts. 

Would you rather write a book or a synopsis?

NB: all commenters below (by Feb 15^th) will be entered into the Big WAGS Competition, with chances to win a critique of your synopsis by the Crabbit Old Bat herself! One comment per person on each blog – though you can add to your chances by commenting on the other posts on the tour. Details of all stops on the tour will appear on my blog (Help! I Need a Publisher!) as they go out.

Details about the book, including buying options, here. The link direct to Amazon UK is here; Amazon.com is here. And it’s stupid cheap till the end of January!

Thanks, Nicola! 

Well, I'd much rather write a book than a synopsis. A zillion times more! How about you? Have a great weekend, everyone!

Dealing with Eurekas

Eureka moments are one of the best things about being a writer: that excitement you get when a new idea hits; the surge of creative energy.

But before you go off and write 80,000 words in a fit of mania, slow down for a second and ask yourself these three questions.

1. What's different about this idea? Has it been done a zillion times before?

2. Is there enough potential for conflict to carry this idea through a full-length novel?

3. Does this idea fit in with my genre of writing? Is it the type of genre I'd want to first be published in? Does it even fit comfortably into a genre?

When I get a new idea, I try now to let it sit for a week or two before I go back to it -- long enough to let the fervour die down, so I can examine it with objective eyes. If, after answering those three questions, I still feel excited, then I go for it!

How do you deal with new ideas?

Significant Other Blogfest Tomorrow! Drop by to see what Mr TR has to say about my writing (among other things!).

Feel the Love?

Web Splash Announcement! A small reminder that the Splash will take place one week from today. Due to some technical issues with Amazon that are making my head explode -- oh, there goes my ear -- the email with all the Splash information will hopefully be going out sometime on Friday.

Since yesterday's post, of course I've thought of a million more reasons why I love living in London. If you want to know about other cities, check out Ellen's post on Dublin and Helen's on Edinburgh.

So. On to today, and a somewhat controversial topic: using your blog to get feedback on your writing.

Of course there's nothing wrong with posting your writing for others to read -- pieces of work you're proud of, et cetera. But I'd argue if you're looking for genuine, critical feedback, your blog is probably not the best place to go.

Why? Well, first of all, it's a public forum -- people are always reticent to say what they really think in public, and unsure of the reception if they do. No one wants to looks like a crotchety miser who can't feel the love. We all want people to like our writing, but... do we really want our egos stoked with a false sense of security? When it comes to improving a passage, it's not really helpful.

Secondly, time. Most of us visit and comment on a lot of blogs, and thoughtful critiquing takes time. It's much easier to say something nice and move on than it is to give detailed feedback, especially if it's a long passage.

There are great blogs and bloggers out there who do offer valuable feedback: Clarissa Draper's chapter critique, for one. And there are always beta readers, writers' groups and plenty of forums to turn to for help.

What do you think? Are blogs a good place to get useful feedback on writing?

Happy Thanksgiving to all my American friends!

Guess That Character - The Reveal

Thanks to everyone who dropped by and guessed what my main character Jem looks like, based on the snippet below! Quite a few were correct, actually: Jem's a brunette, very well-groomed and put together. She's quite a control-freak (you'd need to be after five years of keeping your impulses in line!).

Big thank you to Jen for organising the blogfest! It was a ton of fun and I'm really enjoying getting to meet new bloggers and reading everyone's work!

Here's my snippet from yesterday:

Today I'm participating in my first blogfest, organised by the lovely Jen of Unedited. I know blogfest posts can be lengthy and time-consuming to comment on, so if you're not participating please don't feel obliged!

The Guess that Character blogfest is this: I post a snippet of my writing, and you try to guess what the main character looks like.

Here's a bit from the opening of a short story I've written called The Five-Year Itch.

***

Jem Ryan turned her smile on the eager crowd in front of her.

‘And that, ladies and gentleman,’ – she sighed as she spotted the man at the back of the room; there always had to be one who turned up, thinking the women were easy pickings – ‘is how I’ve gone five years without sex.’

The women clapped and looked up at her as if she’d just given them the recipe to calorie-free chocolate.

Jem held up her hands. ‘It’s my five-year anniversary today, actually!’

The applause swelled and Jem nodded graciously, smoothing down her pencil skirt and straightening the cuffs on her fitted shirt. She always made an effort to show that even though she didn’t desire, she could still be desirable. The funny thing was, ever since she’d vowed not to have sex, she’d practically had to beat off fanciable men with a stick.

‘There are CDs and T-shirts at the back, and I’ll be signing books in the foyer for the next hour,’ Jem said when the clapping finally stopped. ‘Pre-dinner drinks start at seven in the hotel bar. And remember: sex-free is sexy!’

She came down off the podium and into the swarming crowd, smiling and shaking the hands of women who gushed how she had helped them find a new direction, a new confidence... ugh. She wrinkled her nose. Some of them needed to find a new deodorant.

Jem settled behind the table in the foyer and picked up her pen.

‘Oh!’ The man she’d seen at the back of the room was smiling down at her. Close up he was even better looking, with thick blonde hair that waved over his forehead and just the right amount of stubble poking through his chin. What the hell was he doing here? If he thought any of her women would succumb to his looks, he had another think coming.

‘Can you sign my book?’ He put a copy of Living Sex Free and Loving It onto the table. Jem stared at his hands, with their long, solid fingers. Just the right amount of knuckle hair, no wedding ring... an image of his hands on her skin flashed through her mind, and the hair on the back of her neck stood up. In horror, of course.

‘Are you alright?’ the man was asking.

Jem cleared her throat and looked up again. ‘Who should I make it out it to?’

'Trevor.’

Jem relaxed her grip on the pen and let out her breath. Trevor. Any man called Trevor was sure to be the type who stopped in the middle of sex to have a dump, or something equally hideous. She scrawled her name across the book, omitting the kisses she usually put.

***

So... what does Jem look like?

(And apologies to any man called Trevor; I just needed a name and that was it!)

Facing Fear

Thanks to everyone for the lovely anniversary wishes! We had great weekend -- in part because of the wonderful new bike scheme around London.

Before hopping on the bikes I repeated my firm pledge: no way would I cycle on the roads. We live next to a series of parks and there was no need to hit the streets. Plus, I'd seen cyclists sandwiched between buses and taxis and the very thought terrified me!

However, when we sat down outside City Hall, my husband pointed to the most easterly bike docking station on the map and declared his need to head there, thus completing our journey from west to east. Always motivated by pointless journey quests, I was quick to agree: until I realised this journey would require crossing Tower Bridge, mingling with the heavy Sunday afternoon traffic. I gulped, then agreed.

Everything was fine until the iconic towers of the bridge loomed over me and a railing to my left squeezed me over towards the cars, vans and buses flashing by. I took a deep breath and urged my legs faster up the incline of the bridge. Just keep moving, I told myself. Just keep moving, and you'll get there.

It's funny because that's what I tell myself when I'm writing too. Keep going, keep writing. Keep editing -- you'll get there in the end!

I got to that East London bicycle station -- and back again. And my novels will hopefully get there too if I just keep moving, improving and looking forward!

How do you deal with your fears, writing or otherwise?

Monster Peeves

Last night my husband and I clashed over the particularly hot issue of CDs. Not which one to buy, nor which one to play. No, this clash was about putting a CD back in its correct case.

See, I have a habit of removing a CD and popping it back in the first available empty case. I don't mean to; usually my mind is elsewhere and I'm just not paying attention. My non-detail-oriented self doesn't really see this as a big deal, but for my order-loving husband it's a travesty of the highest order.

On the other hand, I detest my husband's obsessive toe-cracking, something he can't understand.

Ah, pet peeves!

Everyone has something that irks them in real life, and I think the same can be said for writing. For example, I hate when writers kill off main characters with little or no warning, or when loose ends are tied up all neatly and conveniently by something that came about by luck. I also hate when there are just too many twists and turns (as in the movie 2012) -- I just lose interest!

What are your writing pet peeves?

Extreme Makeover

I've been doing a lot of thinking about cosmetic surgery lately -- not for myself, but for a novel. And poor ol' SuBo here is making me ponder: what if I could have an extreme writing makeover? What kind of writer would I want to be if I could redesign myself from top to toe?

First and foremost, I'd love to be a writer who could Tweet all day, never be distracted and never get thrown off course when an exciting review or a bit of news trickles through the inbox. I'd like to have a brain of steel rather than a cotton woolly one where random bits of info float around and sometimes manage to stick themselves down on paper.

I'd like to never get jealous or even slightly green when I hear someone's signed with an agent, got a killer book deal or made Amazon Top 10.

I'd love to write with confidence, with belief in myself and my ability -- and not look for outside validation (sigh).

I'd like to have a killer ass that doesn't get sore from sitting down too much or spread outwards as an after-effect.

I'd give anything to stop feeling apologetic for writing women's fiction, to stand up for my genre and let people know there's value in what I do!

I'd love to be one of those super-cool writers who always look funky in cafés with their Macbooks and horn-rimmed specs; I'd like to be a writer who can write in cafés!

And finally... I'd like to write like me, but better.

What about you? If you could have an extreme writing makeover, what would be on your list?

How I Got Here

Since I've moved on now to stressing about the next step (talk about not living in the moment) in my publication journey, I thought I'd write this blog post mainly as a way of reminding myself how I should enjoy where I'm at now.

Like pretty much all writers, I've been writing all my life. My first 'novel', written around age 12, was about a girl who had one arm. She triumphed over her disability -- and the death of her best friend -- and won a gold medal in the Olympics. Of course she had to die (you know, to maximise the drama), so I killed her off in a epilogue. I printed the whole thing off on my Commodore 64 and sent it away to publishers. Unsurprisingly they weren't that interested, but I did receive one nice letter suggesting a few tips to make it better.

Over the next few years, I got tied up with the business of being a teen and although I still loved writing, I put it on the backburner. It was only in grad school, where I was doing a Masters of Journalism, that I became interested in writing again. But fame beckoned (or so I thought), and I decided to become a TV reporter. That didn't work -- nor did editing, PR, teaching or recruitment!

It was only when I was really desperate to leave a job (and I mean desperate -- my Blackberry, which I'd left unlocked, conveniently dialled one of my bosses and recorded a 10-minute rant of me venting to a friend about that boss -- well, you can only imagine the atmosphere that created), that I made the leap to trying to be a full-time novelist. I knew I could write, but I didn't even know if I could produce a novel.

So I sat at my desk that first day and wrote a line. And I kept writing, until a few months later I had my first full-length novel. I was so happy -- I was a writer! I'd done it! I made some edits, then sent it off to agents. Rejections came in. I sent it to more agents. More rejections. I put my head down and wrote Novel Number 2. This was going to be it! But no -- more and more rejections rolled in. So... Novel Number 3 came along. And guess what? More rejections! Novel Number 4 -- rejections! Number 5 -- rejections (well, one big rejection. I honestly couldn't bring myself to even work on it after that).

In the midst of Novel Number 2 rejections, I'd met with an editor and pitched her my novel. And surprise! She rejected it. But she liked my writing, and if we could come up with some non-fiction ideas she would be interested in working with me. I waffled for awhile. I didn't want to do non-fiction, I whined to my husband. It wasn't my passion! After rolling his eyes out of his sockets, he put them back in and gave me a hard look. I was lucky, he said. This was an opportunity. A chance to get in the door, to learn how publishing worked and go through the process.

So I sucked it up and pitched a few ideas, and finally we hit on a travel series idea. I wrote one book, then another, all the while working away on my fiction and hoping, praying, that all the energy I was investing would pay off in the end.

And you know what?

It has!

Life in the Fast Lane

Once I've accomplished a goal, I'm always looking ahead to the next. When I graduated from secondary school, I worried about what I'd do after university. And when I got my first promotion, I was already thinking about the next job title.

It's the same with writing. I'd be half-way finished my MS and feeling anxious about querying, running through pitch lines in my head and thinking about which agents to target.

Slow down, I'd tell myself as my mind skipped ahead to the next challenge to be met. Enjoy the moment, for once. Lift your head from your computer and breath in!

There's nothing wrong with now. Rejections, frustrations, food and wine cravings... they're all part of the process. And what's to say the process can't be as enjoyable as accomplishing the goal?

Writing Rituals

When I was an athlete, I had a lot of pre-race rituals. I had to tie my shoe-lace like that, or make sure to wear my lucky hair-band. Now, as a writer, I find myself having rituals, too.

I like the curtains arranged just so (yes, I am slightly OCD, I admit it!), and I must be wearing my fluffy slippers at all costs.

There must be no music playing, my preferred pencil has to nearby and my glass of water must be half-full.


Now that I've made myself look a complete freak, please tell me I'm not alone!

What are your writing rituals?

Working for the Weekend

I remember the days when leaving the office on a Friday afternoon was akin to being set free from a prison. I'm free! I'd sing in my head as I minced along the corridors and out into the sunshine of a brave new weekend world.

Now that I don't have an office job, the days blur into one. Friday afternoon is pretty much the same as every other day -- and I love it! The weekends aren't a time when I desperately try to jam all my chores into two days, along with catching up on sleep and somehow trying to be creative. Now, I carry on with my MS or whatever projects I've got on the go, maybe stopping a little earlier than normal or hanging out with my husband when he's not working (he's slightly obsessive when it comes to his own creative endeavors).

So, do you 'work' on the weekends too? Or are they so crazy it's hard to get stuff done?

(PS - I'll be drawing for prizes in my Great 1-1-2 Mate Giveaway on Monday!)

Admit it: It's *boring* sometimes

'Oh, you're a writer?' Dinner-Party Woman looks up from the prawn she's dismantling one leg at a time. That must be so exciting.'

'Um, yeah.' I toy with my drink, wondering if I should dispel yet another romantic notion. Tonight, though, I just don't have the energy.

I muster a limp smile. Images of all those days sitting at my desk -- my butt-cheeks slowly turning numb -- dance through my head.

'Yeah, it's great.'

I know, I know, it's hard to feel sorry for someone who has all the time in world to write. But as with any task -- even if it is your dream job -- it's sometimes (*lowers voice*) a little... boring.

It's terrific when things are flowing. It's not so terrific when your brain feels like mushy peas. And editing? Can anyone actually tell me they like line-editing 300+ pages of work? Examining full-stops ad nauseum and scouring text in case find and replace didn't work so well?

So, there. I've said it. Writing, my love, sometimes you are just plain
B-O-R-I-N-G.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

Stir the Noodle(s)!

(In case anyone's interested, it's still raining!)

Last night, it was my turn to cook dinner. With my domestic menu severely limited, it usually comes down to chicken, chicken, pasta or chicken. Last night I decided to go crazy and mix pasta with chicken!

I was so busy dealing with the errant chicken that I forget to give my bubbling penne a little stir. When it came time to drain the water, the liquid whooshed out leaving... about 70 per cent of the penne clumped together to the bottom of the pot. Not good.

Naturally, whilst scraping glumpy pasta off the pot, my thoughts turned to writing. Do my thoughts stick together when I forget to stir things up? Sitting in my chair, day after day, am I getting... stale? (Um, YES!) What can I do to mix things up a bit, besides streaking to Harrods and spending my £10 on one luxury biscuit?

Usually, when I find my own noodle is getting glumpy (not a word, I know, but it's just so descriptive!), I go for a walk or a run. Fresh air just makes me feel alive again, and getting out into the real world puts everything else in perspective. And there's always coffee to get me stimulated.

How do you stir your noodle?

Teaching and Writing: What's the Connection?

Would you believe it? It's raining again. This is what I get for living in London, I suppose.

Just a quick question today; something I've been wondering about for awhile:

Why are so many writers teachers?

What's the connection? Now, I know it's not because of all of the free time teachers have (*ducks*). How do I know that? Because I used to be a teacher, too.

So is it... teachers are creative people who don't want to take the corporate path? Teachers are more empathetic, which also makes for good writers? Teachers really want to be writers but need a day job? Personally, I never thought of writing as a 'job', and I decided I couldn't do the corporate thing any longer. Teaching was something I'd always wanted to do -- besides writing -- so I thought I'd give it a go. It's a long and circuitous route to where I am today.

I'm keen to know why you think so many teachers are writers, and vice versa.

A Little Write Music

(OK, OK, so that title doesn't exactly work grammatically, but did you get the pun there? Aren't I clever?)

It's chucking down rain outside and I was up all night thanks to a bird outside my window who persisted on bleating the same four notes every thirty seconds or so, so I'm going to make this sorta short.

In On Writing, Stephen King says he writes with heavy-metal music blasting. It's so far from my own writing preferences (absolute silence!), that it made me wonder: can music help the writing process? And what do most writers prefer, silence or tunes?

So, I'd love to hear... Music: Yea or Nay?

And if it's 'yea', what's your favourite writing tune?

PS - If anyone knows a humane way to shut up a silly little bird in the middle of the night, please let me know! It's the second night running and if I don't do it humanely soon, I fear for that bird's life.

Title: Vital?

I'm a big believer in having a great title. I think it can help you focus your ideas and get your one-sentence pitch right from the very beginning. Yes, the title will likely change if you should be so lucky as to have your work published. But if you can come up with something catchy; a great phrase to sell your idea and concept straight away, then the rest should (hopefully) be easy. Or easier, anyway.

For my current novel, I originally had the title The Ex Factor. I thought it was great (and I still think it is!) but a search on Amazon revealed the title had already been taken. D'oh! Second try came up with The Hating Game -- a play on The Dating Game and rolling in the vengeful attitudes of the exes my protagonist will encounter.

How do you come up with a title? Do you leave it to the end, or is the title the first thing that comes to mind?

Cliché Bingo!

Writers are always called out for their use of cliché. But they're not the only ones who fall prey: book reviewers are now being taken to task for their reliance on hackneyed phrases. How many times have you picked up a book to see 'gripping' or 'a real page turner' emblazoned across the front?

Why not turn it into a fun game of BINGO?

Michelle Kerns of the Examiner has done all the hard work for you, creating BINGO cards using a mix of book review clichés (go to the link to see more BINGO cards). All you have to do is print them off, give one each to your friends, and see who gets BINGO first!

If you had to pick one cliché to describe your current novel, what would you choose?

All About Potential

Writing my list yesterday got me thinking about potential (it's never a good idea to write a top ten list after drinking a glass of wine -- it's too hard to rein in your mind afterwards!). As good things are currently in the works (I promise I'll disclose more soon!), it seems an apt time to look at it a bit closer (without wine, this time). (Gosh, I really need to stop using parentheses.)

Yesterday, I wrote how I love that there's the potential for something to happen with my writing. I didn't actually stop to think exactly what I meant until later. What potential? To finish a first draft, to polish a novel I'm happy with? To get published, to hit The Times' bestseller list (I can dream big, right?).

When we're young, we're full of potential. Everything seems possible; our life has not yet been narrowed down to a defined career, we haven't been pigeon-holed. Will that happen if/ when I'm published? Will my potential diminish, once I've achieved a part of my dream and start to 'grow up' as a writer? Or will my potential grow along with me?

I'm going to look at potential as a growing process. A baby has the potential to sit up, to smile. A teenager has the potential to drive a car, to go to university. As a writer starting out on the publishing journey, I'm happy with the baby steps I'm making towards fulfilling my potential -- now and in the future.

Ten on Tuesday: Writing

I sucked back my glass of wine a bit too early tonight and I'm feeling quite light-headed, so I'm going to resort to a 'Ten on Tuesday' meme. Apologies in advance for typos and/ or nonsensical sentence structures. (There's really no excuse, I know...).

Since I've talked before about how difficult I sometimes find the writing journey, I thought I'd give my top ten reasons why I love it.

1. I can make stuff up. I can make anything happen! It took me awhile to cotton on to this -- I had to take tentative steps away from my grasp on reality and towards creativity. I'm still learning but I love it!

2. As pointed out by many in a previous post, I can stay in my PJs all day long! (And wear my fuzzy slippers to my heart's content). It ain't pretty but it sure is comfortable.

3. It's a 30-second commute to my desk. Previous commutes included a killer drive on the M4; an hour-long Tube journey on the crush of the Central Line and the dreaded Northern Line; and a sketchy 6:30 am start to get to the smelly Silverlink Metro and the wilds of Clapham Junction. Now I can avoid sweaty commuter armpits!

4. I'm within striking distance of the fridge, at all times. Enough said.

5. I am my own boss, as I've said before. Love, love, LOVE it!

6. It's OK to stare out the window for hours. It's alright to eavesdrop. It's all good, as long as it helps my writing.

7. I really feel happy staring at the page at the end of the day, re-reading what I've written. Even if it's rubbish (first draft, etc), I feel I've accomplished something.

8. I like hoping that something will happen with my writing. I like that there's potential.
It's infinitely better than being stuck in a dead-end job.

9. I like the routine of my day, getting up in the morning and knowing that I have a full day to create ahead of me.

10. I'm doing what I've always wanted to, even though I've been distracted many times along the way. I've finally got here.

Writer Envy

Maybe envy is the wrong word, but there are a few writers I'd really love to write like. Sophie Kinsella, for one. Her characters are flawed yet lovable, and I always roots for them to triumph over any challenges. She manages to write cringe-worthy and comic scenes at the same time, and keep the plot rolling.

If you could write like anyone, who would it be?

(And is it wrong to want to write like someone?)