Wednesday, March 24, 2010


That word strikes fear into my heart, conjuring up images of doom, gloom and a world without cupcakes. However, today the revelations will be of my own making as I unveil the one truth hidden in a forest of lies. (The thought of Revelations has made me think in pseudo-Biblical language!)

Anyway, back to sweetness and light:

1. I went to a posh all-girls' school in Kensington but was 'asked to leave' after writing a series of anonymous articles exposing how much profit the school cafeteria made -- the headmistress found me out.

False. I went to a state school and was annoyingly well behaved.

2. I have never driven a car, relying instead on Tubes and cabs. Who needs a car in London?

False. Unfortunately, I have driven a car in London and I very quickly developed a severe case of road rage. Parking was the worst: it's in high demand in my borough and you have to develop a vulture-like mentality just to survive. I sold my car a few years ago after a change of job meant I didn't need it any longer. Good riddance!

3. I can see Buckingham Palace from my window.

False. I'm pretty close to Kensington Palace, though.

4. On my way to a job interview, I tripped down the stairs of the Tube, sliding to a stop at the bottom. People just stepped over me.

True. I'm sad to say that this statement is the truth. My heel caught in the cuff of my trousers as I went to take the first step down into the Tube station, launching me head-first into a wall which broke my fall as I slid. I tumbled about ten steps, and people just stepped right over me. (And, even though I went to the interview with a giant bump on my head and a scraped wrist, I didn't get the job. That was definitely not my day.) Sad, so sad, but true.

5. I once fell asleep on the Tube, got my wallet stolen, then had a nice bus driver drive me home on his double-decker, all the way from Canning Town.

False. But although this didn't happen to me, it did happen to a friend of mine! Thanks goodness for nice bus drivers.

6. I'm going to run the London Marathon next month.

Wahahaha! Enough said.

7. My husband is an Hon. with inherited wealth.

False. Oh how I wish it were so. But I married for love, of course.

Coming up tomorrow: Writing with Music: Yea or Nay?


  1. I was right, London is a lot like New York that way.

  2. It's sad, isn't it? I'd like to think I'd at least stop and ask if the person at my feet was alright!

  3. Oh No!!!!

    I'm so sorry that happened to you - how terrible!!!

    And you went ahead with the interview, you brave wonderful soul! It's so so sad when people are so selfish and unconcerned that way isn;'t it?!?! I know this is of little consolation to you but for every selfish ignorant person there are always the opposite! always! I cling to that thought every time I am shoved aside, queue-jumped, don't get thanked when I'm helpful, cursed at for not walking fast enough...

    I'm so sorry this happened to you.

    I hope you are all recovered well now!

    Take care

  4. How awful that number 5 was right!! I can make a guess which station it was too!

    It's not all bad though - once I had had some bad news and was trying so hard not to cry on the platform while waiting for the tube to come. But I got the shock of my life when a stranger gently touched my arm and asked me if I was ok - and that made me cry even more! There are nice people out there :)

  5. That's too bad nobody helped you. Were they blind?

  6. Those were some great lies. But that truth... poor you.
    : (

    Happy Wednesday!

  7. I'm glad *someone* got the nice bus driver, even if it wasn't you.

    And your stories totally confirm the sociology experiments on altruism I read about in college. When there's one witness to a mishap--like the bus driver who helped your friend who'd been robbed--that individual is very likely to help. When there are multiple witnesses, everyone expects someone else to take responsibility, so NO ONE does.

    And sorry to hear about the totally sucky job interview and painful fall that preceded it. :-(

  8. Haha, like your take on Revelations. A world without cupcakes, how sad! Well, I was confused, I thought there was only one false answer so I picked #3. Duh!

  9. Wow, they just stepped right over you? Talk about being in a rush! I'm glad you weren't seriously hurt, or you'd have been in trouble! Fun post :)

  10. Some people are just so rude. I live close to London but hate going on the tubes and only go when necessary. I did have a lovely man help me when I was lost at one of the tube stations once, just a fella who was on his way home (to Swindon!) but he was delightful.

  11. First...what?! A world without cupcakes?! *shudder* Not an option. that I have that out of my system...

    I was hoping for your sake #7 was the truth. I'm so sorry about the true story. (at least the didn't step on you? bright side?) Rude people blow.

    YES, I write with music.

    Happy Humpday!

  12. Can tell you're a writer because you made up VERY convincing lies, and the truth was a great story! Great post, and thanks for letting us know which one was the truth hiding in the lie-stack ;)

  13. oh NO!

    this was hilarious up until it became sad. :( sometimes i worry about the state of humanity.


    *big sigh*

    <3 you bestie!

  14. That's a horrible truth! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Rest assured, I would have been helping you as soon as you hit the pavement.

  15. How rude! I would have so helped you! And then you didn't get the job? Talk about adding insult to injury.

  16. Wonderful insights. And way to go on the run!


  17. I wish I could do life with no car!

  18. That could have been my truth - definitely something I could do :)

  19. And I was just sure you were going to run the London Marathon! Oh well. What a sad truth. At least you married for love! :)

  20. What a terrible fall! And you didn't get the job? Boo. I wouldn't have stepped right over you.

  21. People can be very rude. I wouldn't have just stepped over you. Are you okay?

  22. Eeeeee! What a sad truth! I'm sorry that happened, and then you didn't get the job on top of it all?! Oh, and now I know: Tube=Subway ;)

    I have something for you at my blog this morning :)

  23. Aw, thanks everyone, for your lovely comments - I feel a little better now for having been trampled on.

    This happened about five years ago, so I suppose I've got over it. Still, in my nightmares, I sometimes see stilettos passing over my head as I lie, inert, on the dirty stairs...


Coffee and wine for all!