Revelations

That word strikes fear into my heart, conjuring up images of doom, gloom and a world without cupcakes. However, today the revelations will be of my own making as I unveil the one truth hidden in a forest of lies. (The thought of Revelations has made me think in pseudo-Biblical language!)

Anyway, back to sweetness and light:

1. I went to a posh all-girls' school in Kensington but was 'asked to leave' after writing a series of anonymous articles exposing how much profit the school cafeteria made -- the headmistress found me out.

False. I went to a state school and was annoyingly well behaved.

2. I have never driven a car, relying instead on Tubes and cabs. Who needs a car in London?

False. Unfortunately, I have driven a car in London and I very quickly developed a severe case of road rage. Parking was the worst: it's in high demand in my borough and you have to develop a vulture-like mentality just to survive. I sold my car a few years ago after a change of job meant I didn't need it any longer. Good riddance!

3. I can see Buckingham Palace from my window.

False. I'm pretty close to Kensington Palace, though.

4. On my way to a job interview, I tripped down the stairs of the Tube, sliding to a stop at the bottom. People just stepped over me.

True. I'm sad to say that this statement is the truth. My heel caught in the cuff of my trousers as I went to take the first step down into the Tube station, launching me head-first into a wall which broke my fall as I slid. I tumbled about ten steps, and people just stepped right over me. (And, even though I went to the interview with a giant bump on my head and a scraped wrist, I didn't get the job. That was definitely not my day.) Sad, so sad, but true.

5. I once fell asleep on the Tube, got my wallet stolen, then had a nice bus driver drive me home on his double-decker, all the way from Canning Town.

False. But although this didn't happen to me, it did happen to a friend of mine! Thanks goodness for nice bus drivers.

6. I'm going to run the London Marathon next month.

Wahahaha! Enough said.

7. My husband is an Hon. with inherited wealth.

False. Oh how I wish it were so. But I married for love, of course.

Coming up tomorrow: Writing with Music: Yea or Nay?