It's a lovely sunny Spring day here and a wonderful end to a week which has basically seen me puttering about doing nothing, so I figured I'd strive to hit an all-time low and discuss writer's arse.You know: that spread you get when you sit for too long in one spot, without moving. In the past two years since I've been writing full-time, I've noticed my arse has spread AT LEAST an inch on either side.
Of course that could be down to the extra cupcake and wine consumption, but it's also due to the fact that I rarely move. I get up, walk from my bed to the kitchen, make coffee, then go to my office. Sometimes I even have to convince myself that no, I really don't need to pee, because the loo (a mere 30 metres) is too far away. And there's times at the end of the day I can barely stand because I've been sitting for too long -- and no, I'm not a 90-year-old woman.
Do you have writer's arse (yet)? And if not, how do you stop it?!
I will be of no help to you. I have pretty much the same routine, except I have to walk downstairs to go from bed to coffee pot.
ReplyDeleteHelen
Straight From Hel
My ass/thighs have spread to Canada.
ReplyDeleteThe only solution is working out. Dreadful.
Ha! I think mine's okay. If I have one, I've had it since I was 23, when I began working at an insurance company. Since then, between work, school, and writing, I do a lot of sitting. But I walk and bike, so I'm hoping it all helps.
ReplyDeleteLMAO! Great post. I'm right there with you. Matter of fact, I'm on my way to make coffee and grab some kind of pastry. :)
ReplyDeleteI wish I did!!! Only because I would love to be a full time writer, until then I'll just have to be envious of your painful arse problem! I understand the pee thing, sometimes it is just too far away!
ReplyDeleteEek! I don't know. Now I'm going to start measuring my butt once a week. And add more jogging time.
ReplyDeleteTruthfully, I cringe when I see women with a flat butt that looks like they been sitting all their life. I will strive NOT to look that that! ;-) Only problem, I don't know how. Let me know if you come up with something!
~JD
You are opening up a can of worms, absolutely know that unwillingness to go to the bathroom, very funny post, by the way my blogpost is working now.
ReplyDeleteOh man, now I'm going to have to measure my butt at least once a week now. It will become my new obsession. Time to add more jogging time. Do you think that will help? ;-)
ReplyDelete~JD
My butt is definitely bigger than it was a year-and-a-half ago. And I don't pee either. Too far to walk.
ReplyDeleteLOL!!!!
ReplyDeleteThe wine and cupcakes are innocent!!
I think your bum was just trying to find its comfort zone..!
Now you see I treated myself to a gorgeous frilly seat cushion from Laura Ashley - and when I bought it it was at least 3 inches in depth in glorious girly flowery blue. I mean we're talking quality here matey!
This was six months ago.
It's now flat down to 1/2 inch in depth and no amount of washing,spin drying and fluffing would puff it up some more!
I wouldn't mind but it's not all down to any writing activities!
Take care
x
I'm with Jen, I would love to say that I did (well, kind of) but I don't get to sit for very long. I must chase kiddos too much :) My lovely little things:)
ReplyDeleteNo, but I've learned to get up at least once an hour just to relieve eye strain. I stare at a computer at work as well and found that moving away from my computer for even a couple minutes really helps.
ReplyDeleteSince I started writing seriously I definitely sit longer than I used to! Now I try to break it up with walks. Oh how we suffer for our art!
ReplyDeleteI too have writer's arse because my job involves sitting down all day. Fortunately I'm also slightly ADD so I get up a lot to make tea, which helps to redistribute the mass (it does make an unpleasant, gelatinous, liquid sound as it oozes back into position, though).
ReplyDeleteWow, I've ever grossed myself out. Time for another cuppa.
I'm a walker, so I try to get a couple miles in every day. I consider the walking a part of writing too, clearing my thoughts, contemplating, working out plot points, that sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteHappy weekend ...
Get a dog! :-) I do all my very best brainstorming while taking my pooch on long, long walks (with the added bonus of exercize).
ReplyDeleteI exercise. But I have to thanks to my chocolate addiction. :D
ReplyDeleteHa! Had it for years and it's spreading. Hemingway stood up to write to avoid Writer's gut, or was that beer gut in him? And Stephen King walks every afternoon for like 4 - 5 miles. I don't do anything.
ReplyDeleteExercise - something I need to do more of as well.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping all the trips to the coffee pot and bathroom help to keep writer's butt away :)
ReplyDeleteI don't yet! I do exercise 4 days a week, though, and I walk a good bit. I'm not good at denying my bladder; of course, I don't drink coffee much anymore, so that helps...
ReplyDeleteBut ditto what Old Kitty said--my seat cushion is like a steel board now. I keep asking my hubby to reupholster it...
I have a treadmill desk! No kidding! It's a lot of fun and I can actually get work done on it (Have I mentioned I am a nut?)
ReplyDeleteCheck it out if you'd like: http://bossybetty.blogspot.com/search/label/Treadmill%20Desk
I have no arsr at all, so no matter how long I sit it won't spread. What will happen is there's little to hold up/fill out my pants! :O
ReplyDeleteCan I just say, I can't WAIT to have writers arse!! lol.
ReplyDeleteI think this must be an incriminating question - LOL
ReplyDeleteEven though I make myself get up and move around a couple of times an hour, mine still spreads like a weed.
It couldn't possibly be caused by chocolate.
Funny!!! Why don't you go chase a mouse for a bit?
ReplyDeleteMilt x
I, as well, will blame the widening of my posterior on the hours I spend writing. It can't possibly be the wine or my lack of daily exercise. It's writing's fault. Excellent.
ReplyDeleteHahah!!! I don't have much of an arse yet, but I'm sure it's waiting for me to hit a certain age before it explodes. (What lovely imagery, no?)
ReplyDeleteI'm really impressed that you stay seated long enough for writer's arse. I'm constantly thinking of reasons NOT to stay seated, thus it's taking me FOREVER to finish my novel.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the great tips! I do try to get out and walk/ run in the middle of the day, but it's just so hard to move!
ReplyDeleteAnd I just bought a cheescake, which I'm sure is not a great way to stop the spread!
Lol. I'm also trying to avoid writers arse. I find lunges and the old, boring workout route is the way to go ;(
ReplyDeleteHahaha! This is something we all want to avoid... try taking a walk in the afternoons to break up the monotony. You can use the time as a break from your prose, or to noodle writing conundrums.
ReplyDeleteHave a fantastic weekend! :D
I already have a big booty. Seriously. The boys nicknamed me "Ghetto Booty" in 7th grade and it stuck through college. Oh, and once some guy standing behind me in line exclaimed that he thought I was J.Lo. No joke! So if I ever get writer's arse- God forbid! I wouldn't fit through the doorways.
ReplyDeleteSometimes one butt cheek falls asleep. That's an odd sensation.
I keep the arse in check by walking - nay, marching - the dog round the fields for 30 minutes every day, rain or shine.
ReplyDeleteIt's either that or become wedged in my chair.
Your post made me laugh out loud. I definitely have Writer's Arse. It's a sad, sad thing.
ReplyDeleteBTW, my MC's name is Tally. Close to yours, except the "y" of course. I don't know a lot of people with the name, but I like it!
Yeah, I take it out on the chairs. I bought two chairs a year and a half ago, one lives by the PC and the other one next to my wardrobe... guess which one looks ready for the tip!
ReplyDeleteI so have it. I want to get out there, but it's tough with winters like we have here in MA. Most days, I just want my blanket and my laptop and that's enough. But then things warm up and I've got the big one, right there, following me everywhere and Damn it. It ain't going anywhere fast. I'm going to try at least doing butt clenches. I'll let you know how and if it goes.
ReplyDeleteI often worry about this! I go for a lot of walks. I fear exercise may be in my future (either that or a wide-load chair).
ReplyDeleteI know the ass you speak of. I have an "office ass". So I am quite familiar. Also, I love the word "loo."
ReplyDeleteLooooooooo....Its just fun to say..and type.
That is such a great question. And if anyone has the answer I would love to hear it!!! ;)
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a great weekend!
LOL! I don't know the answer to that question. I just bought a comfortable new desk chair so it's hard not to sit in it all day.
ReplyDeleteHaha this is funny. I really like this post. I'm pretty sure I have writer's arse but then again I'm a twig of a girl and don't have much of a butt anyway.
ReplyDeleteBut i think the way to prevent this deformity (haha, no offense I'm just trying to use some good synonyms today lol) is by sitting on a doughnut?? You know one of those round tubular cushion seats!!! Google it. :)
I'm sorry...I was going to say something...but I can't seem to get rid of this mental image of Julie's ass exploding! :)
ReplyDeleteI just got a new chair in the hopes of avoiding writers arse. I hope it works! I really don't think the cupcakes or wine contribute in anyway to the spread.
ReplyDeleteIt can't be the cupcakes! Or the wine! Never :)
ReplyDeleteAbout the only exercise I get some days is walking home from work. It's only maybe 40 minutes, but it's better than nothing I guess.
Get a dog - then you're forced to go for a walk at least once a day or the dog will have too much pent up energy and drive you nuts so you can't write anyway. That's my solution, anyway. :)
ReplyDeleteThis post made me smile!
ReplyDeleteI don't have writer's arse, but my arm is starting to protest all the typing. If only the computer could read my thoughts and type it out for me. Maybe one day!
Oh, and I have an award for you on my blog!
ReplyDeleteMy writer's arse has sort of gotten lost in the mass of my pregnancy arse, but I'm sure it's in there somewhere. I have an award for you on my blog.
ReplyDeleteSadly, I seem to have aquired the arse of TWO writers :(
ReplyDeleteI agree with Laurel. Dog walking is good for exercise and for working through plot issues/story ideas etc.
ReplyDeleteMaybe we could have a Twitter alert setting, say every three hours, that alerts us all to the fact that we've been sitting for too long. It would order us to get up, jog round the house, punch the air 10 times, take in healthy water and go for a pee before returning to our desks. If we all did it together we wouldn't feel so stupid.
I usually go somewhere that I have to walk up and down lots and lots of steps to take some piccies.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't work. Must be those damn cupcakes.
Is one of the symptoms having to gather up your thighs and reshape them when you get out of a chair?
ReplyDeleteI don't have writer's arse, I've actually lost weight since I took up fulltime writing.
ReplyDeleteMaybe its because I hate eating at the laptop because it's so messy, or the mugs of green tea and Diet Coke that keep me running back and forth from the toilet...?
Put some music on and dance. But you have to get up and dance, not remain seated and just wiggle your head and arms!
ReplyDeleteWriters arse is a side effect of your productivity and should be sat on with pride! Its a sure sign your getting somewhere!
ReplyDeleteI love my butt! It's my writer's love handles that I hate. ;P
ReplyDelete