Monday, February 13, 2012

Books *Not* to Give Your Valentine

Happy Monday, all! Hope everyone had a fabulous weekend. Mine was full of sleeping, reading, sleeping, reading . . . and attempting to recover from too much wine, champagne and beetroot carpaccio (word to the wise: don't).

The Huffington Post recently had a rather cute article on books not to give your Valentine, and that got me thinking: what books would I not want to receive for the day of romance that's nearly upon us?

The Lady's Book of Manners: How to Become a Perfect Lady. Just... no. Anyway, aren't I already perfect? *bats eyes*

Controlling Your Drinking. I already know the answer to that and it's one word: Egypt. Ha!

Confessions of a Slut Wife. Hardly romantic, eh? Besides, how interesting can it be?

Getting Started in Fly Fishing. I like fly fishing as much as the next girl, but I'm not sure I'd like to learn about it on Valentines's Day.

191 Horror Movies You Must See Before You Die. As someone who can't even watch Sixth Sense, I reckon this would definitely make for a sleepless night spent peering into dark corners to ensure nothing's crouching there in the dark.

Your turn! What book, real or otherwise, would you not want to receive on Valentine's Day?

55 comments:

  1. All of those books would make me cringe if I got them for V-Day.

    Hope you have a good V-Day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I think a book on all the different types of spiders in the world would be the book I'd least want to receive.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anything by glen beck or that coulter woman or any number of other right-wing haters. Oh, and it would be really offensive to get a book on how to controll my drinking!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved thye post Talli,
    Valentine's Day I will be travelling to Heathrow for my Wednesday flight to California.

    Yvonne.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Karma Sutra immediately sprang to mind, gee wonder why. Although compared to that, I think fly fishing might be kind of fun.

    ReplyDelete
  6. A book on dealing with toxic relationships wouldn't go down too well.

    ReplyDelete
  7. ooh, i would totally take that horror movie book!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Eeuw! Grim books indeed.I guess anything by the late Dr Atkins would be a no no as well.

    I'm starting to get nervous now - how will my gift from Halfords go down? Gulp ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Pretty much anything self improvement. I already know where I need to improve and I certainly don't want to be reminded of that on Valentine's Day. My hubs would never!

    Actually, as much as I love books I'd like a nice piece of jewelry instead : )

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh great. Now I've got to go out shopping again!

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a great list, lol!

    Have a wonderful V-day with your hubby.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yes i think anyone of these would make me mad on Valentine's Day, too. Well maybe any day of the year! Another one that would definitely get me: anything to do with taxes (even if it might be extremely helpful)

    ReplyDelete
  13. HA! Too funny. I wouldn't want to get a book titled, How to Build a Car in 30 Days, or Trouble Shooting Fuel Injected Engines, or How to be a Grease Monkey. :)

    ReplyDelete
  14. Well I'd quite like 191 Horror Movies You Must See Before You Die, but then I'm a bit sick and twisted.

    Books I wouldn't want to receive? How Clean Is Your House or The Dodo Guide to House Management.

    Great post!

    ReplyDelete
  15. Anything with the words 'recipe', 'cook' or 'meals' in it :-)

    ReplyDelete
  16. I wouldn't want to receive any horror book. That's the only genre I can't read (I'm a wimp!), and I definitely wouldn't want to look at a creepy cover on Valentine's Day.

    Have a great week, Talli!

    ReplyDelete
  17. How about a copy of Eat This Not That with a complimentary scale attached? I'd actually enjoy the horror movie book as well. Do you know where my husband can pick up a copy :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi,

    I'd shoot a man who gave me anything less than chocs, champagne and a bit of glitter on VD and then shoved a book in my hand: any book. ;)

    best
    F

    ReplyDelete
  19. This really made me laugh! I clicked on the links and looked at the previews. Some made me cringe!

    I'd hate any books on "How to..." as I never read instruction manuals.

    Great post, Talli!

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hee hee :) This is hilarious. How about books on learning to cope with singlehood, something like that? Ugh.

    Sarah Allen
    (my creative writing blog)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, man... some BRILLIANT suggestions in here!

    I'd HATE to get any books like "How to tell your mother you might never get married" or "How to lose weight" or worst of all, something like "Accept failure". That would kill me!

    ReplyDelete
  22. lol.... good thing i can cross some of these off my list now. :)

    ReplyDelete
  23. Lol! I would not want to receive a book on how to use a blender...well unless it was how to make margaritas! Have a great day!

    ReplyDelete
  24. I like this web site very much, Its a rattling nice post to read and incur info

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hilarious! And AMEN to the last one. Horror movies terrify me. I think if someone got me that for a Valentine's Day gift, I'd seriously question our relationship :P

    ReplyDelete
  26. Idiot's Guide to Divorce (as mentioned in one episode of Frasier!).

    LOL!

    Take care
    x

    ReplyDelete
  27. Too funny. Here's the book I never want to receive:
    The Lost Art of House Cleaning: A Clean House is a Happy Home

    ReplyDelete
  28. HA! Fabulous choices. My hub would probably get me something on how to survive as a farmers wife. *sigh* He wouldn't survive the rest of the week.

    ReplyDelete
  29. A book titled "It's All Your Fault" would pretty much kill the mood of the evening, followed by the killing of the relationship!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Hahahaha! Confessions of a Slut Wife!? Love it! Too funny. But yea, very bad for a V-day gift...

    ReplyDelete
  31. LOL. Those are some unromantic titles. :P

    ReplyDelete
  32. But... my wife would LOVE that last book!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Any "self-improvement" book - diet, how to reduce the appearance of wrinkles, how to keep a cleaner house - those or the ones you listed, had better be paired with "Divorce for Dummies" because there'd be one on the front burner!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Confessions of a Slut Wife...hahahahaha!!! Thank you so much for sharing. Maybe I will give this to the hubby in his V-Day card as a reminder of how good he has it. :P

    ReplyDelete
  35. I'm laughing too hard to come up with anything. Good times.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Confessions of a Slut Wife is my favorite title! I think a Guide To Slimmer Thighs might cause a bit of a riff! Happy Valentine's Day! Julie

    ReplyDelete
  37. OMG these actually made me laugh super loud. Cute post Talli:)

    ReplyDelete
  38. Damnit, I hope I kept the receipt ... thanks for the list, Talli; I think one or two of these might make for funny Secret Santa presents this year :)

    ReplyDelete
  39. A dieting book! Especially not from my husband - that's my decision, or not!

    ReplyDelete
  40. Beetroot carpaccio??!

    I think a diet book would be singularly unromantic. Or perhaps something about plastic surgery!

    ReplyDelete
  41. Happy Valentines Day sweetie and will try not to give out the books above :) Missed you and see you soon when you stop by xo~

    ReplyDelete
  42. *giggles* Yeah, there a number of books that would be real mood dameners. I think anything about personal hygeine or weight loss would do it.

    ReplyDelete
  43. lol! Hilarious and too true.
    I'd say any self improvement books- though I do enjoy reading those, it may not be the best gift ;)
    Happy valentines day.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Hahahah great choices! And what a cool idea for a post.

    Hope you and Mr TR are having a lovely Valentine's Day!

    ReplyDelete
  45. Any 'how to' book but definitely not The Serial Killer's Wife!

    ReplyDelete
  46. I'd probably skip War and peace. :)

    ReplyDelete
  47. Anything to do with football *yawn*

    ReplyDelete
  48. omg, T, you are totally crackin me up. Confessions of a slutty wife. Ways to stop drinking = Egypt. :D

    Hope you and Mr. TR are having a super V'Day~ :o) <3

    ReplyDelete
  49. Love this!
    To add to your list...a book that says, "Learn How to Cook" or "How to Lose Weight in Thirty Days." :/

    I could just imagine having a nice candlelight dinner and then be handed a book or books such as what you listed. Pretty much downhill after that.

    Glad my hubby's a sweet one.
    Happy Hearts Day!

    ReplyDelete
  50. I think you covered a good spectrum there... nothing implying I need to improve in any way ;) And definitely nothing about housecleaning or otherwise being a well-behaved wife. Happy V Day!

    ReplyDelete
  51. Those are hilarious! I can't think of anything to add, but anything about dieting would probably be out. :)

    ReplyDelete
  52. Shirley Conran's Superwoman. I think I can work out for myself how to clean the bathroom.

    (And it's about time he learned to pick up his own socks ...)

    ReplyDelete
  53. If the book was from a guy I was dating, I wouldn't want to receive a dating/relationship advice book. I'd worry that he was trying to tell me something.

    ReplyDelete

Coffee and wine for all!