Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Taking a Lesson from Trashy Tabloids

I'm about to jaunt off to my lengthy bi-monthly session at the hairdresser. It's the high, high price one pays for platinum hair -- quite literally. Although I'm not so keen on the amount of time it takes to slather burning bleach onto my scalp and snip my errant ends, I do love perusing the trashy magazines. It's my one chance to catch up on the cultural ongoings of this great nation. No one does tabloids like the Brits!

Writers could learn a thing or two from tabloid writing. Say what you like about such news outlets -- you have to admit, they're never boring. With punchy, rhythmic language, every word counts. Every sentence brings you deeper and deeper into the story, and just when you think you know what's happened, POW! They hit you with another twist.

They're in, they're out, and they leave you with a definite emotional reaction. What more could you ask for (facts aside)? Perhaps I've found a new calling. Move over, Piers Morgan!

Do you read the tabloids? Come on, admit it!

57 comments:

  1. I always read OK or Hello at the dentist....!

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  2. haha. I'm actually having tabloid withdrawals since living in Greece. Care to post me a little trash to add some bling to my life?

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  3. I read them when I lived with my Gram. She called it "the paper."

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  4. I would prefer to listen to you over Piers Morgan any day! You'd rock the tabloid world! I'm with you, trashy magazines are awesome, as are trashy american shows (can't speak for others) but I love them!!!!

    Enjoy your day at the hairdresser's!

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  5. Your hair looks great, by the way. I don't know that I've ever read a tabloid. Is that sad?

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  6. Ah the hairdresser. My turn was last week. I have an award for you on my blog.

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  7. I have read them, but now I tend to just read the headlines when I'm in the check out line at the grocery store. The headlines do grab your attention.

    Mason
    Thoughts in Progress

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  8. I don't really read them, but I always read the covers/headlines while I'm waiting to check out at the grocery store. :)

    As such, I know that Angie is going into rehab (!!!) and how Ryan Reynolds and Sandra Bullock have been secret lovers for quite some times (!!!!)

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  9. I do read People Magazine occasionally, but not In Touch or Us Weekly because the latter two rarely have quotes from the actual subjects of their articles. In a way the tabloids help people see that the celebrities aren't that much better off than regular people (aside from the millions of dollars and fancy clothes, of course).

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  10. I only read them on my *cough* annual trip to the hairdressers but I'm having fun imagining you as a roving reporter for the tabloids. I might actually read them more often, if you wrote for them!

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  11. Like you, the hairdresser is where I'll pick up a tabloid. Or waiting in line at the grocery store too. They're like a piece of candy, something to just snack on.

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  12. I try so hard not to...BUT if I also wander to my hair dresser or a DR office I tend to grab OK or Life & Style..NO idea how it sucks me in...wait yes I do...its the darn fashion, its showing all those wonderful outfits & jewelry that sucks me in...

    You are right though - it takes a certain talent to be able to work with such little space and such basic language to draw in the reader!

    Have fun at the hairdresser!

    Visit My Kingdom Anytime

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  13. Pity you're not a witch - in my novel my main character wishes herself platinum blonde instead!

    I get the Daily Mirror every day, as my parents and grandparents used to. It's a filthy habit I can't break!

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  14. LOL, I think that may be a female thing. We studly dudes like the sports page.

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  15. Nobody tells you they read them but in fact they do. Ha, ha.
    Greetings from Spain.

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  16. I say I don't but I often arrive early at the doctor's office where I know they have them!

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  17. I love to look at them in the grocery line but can never bring myself to be a contributor to that. Only an admirer... such stories! Such imagination! We would all be famous if we could write that prodigiously.

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  18. You make a good point about the trashy magazines. They are punchy and make for good lines. Journal writing is actually a good class to take....

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  19. Haha, I love tabloids, especially during beauty regimes. The pictures, the clothing, the facts. They are nice escapes and like all written escapes, I would have to agree with you that they've got a good skill about them!

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  20. I read the Metro!! LOL!! A work colleague peruses the Mail (booo!).

    I do like the headlines they come up with though. Even Ms Germaine Greer made a whole programme about The Sun's headline "Gotcha!" (Falklands war etc).

    Oh ok, my mum reads the tabloids.
    :-)
    Take care
    x

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  21. p.s.!! Your hair, your beautiful hair! :-)
    x

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  22. Ha yes, sometimes those headlines simply demand that you go and read the article - and that is a useful lesson for a writer to learn! Sensational, outrageous and sometimes downright hysterical they might be - but you're right, they're never boring!

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  23. I usually just read the headlines while I'm waiting in line at the store. But I do admit I love reading People magazine!

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  24. i used to when i was younger, but now i just read the covers while in line at the grocery checkout. Still, the covers rock.

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  25. *cackles* They are so outrageous, aren't they. I never buy them because... frankly, I'm cheap, but MAN are they good for a laugh now and again. I actually really like the TWIST: they lead you to believe something totally wild and then give enough detail so you realize it is technically true, but totally different than the headline led you to believe.

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  26. I always read Hello ......but only at the hairdressers.

    Yvonne.

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  27. They are never boring that is for sure! LOL! Like Flowerpot, I read them at the dentist. It's the only thing good about going there!

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  28. I love reading the covers while waiting in line or better yet, making up my own. ;)
    Have you ever played a game called Tabloid Teasers?? It's the best.

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  29. I've never read one but I always enjoy looking at the covers at the supermarket.

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  30. I used to, but I stopped reading magazines a while ago. I figured the money I spent on them would be better off going towards books. :)

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  31. I love tabloids just for the smae reasons and will often be caught watching E!

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  32. I never care much about the stories in tabloids, but the pictures and headlines always make me laugh! They usually know how to draw a person in :)

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  33. I never go to the hairdresser, but I sometimes read odd mags in doctor's waiting room!

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  34. Haha, okay, I'll admit it. I don't buy tabloids, but I choose a long line at the grocery store and thumb through one while I'm waiting. They're so entertaining!

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  35. I think all people secretly love the tabloids. Don't tell my husband.
    CD

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  36. Too funny! I now have a whole new way of looking at those trashy news stand time wasters. I like to peruse them whilst waiting in line at the grocery :D

    ~Jen

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  37. Tabloids teach a great lesson to writers -- snappy headlines! :)

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  38. Only the headlines while standing in line at the grocery store.

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  39. I usually skim the headlines for plastic surgery gone wrong stories. If I see one of those, I dive right in.

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  40. I don't....but now, I have a huge urge to pick them up and check them out :)

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  41. I read the headlines, but I've never picked one up. Maybe I should!

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  42. Yeah, there is the total fascination of those grabby little headlines, even while in the grocery store at the checkout counter. They know how to sell their mags and generate interest!

    What?? Your hair isn't natural? LOL

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  43. Haha I actually force myself to look away when I see the tabloids. I feel like they are just lies. But they do sure know how to make you WANT to read them with their language and punchy lines, yes :P

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  44. So funny! I always read the headlines because they crack me up but I don't think I've ever actually picked one up. I'll have to fix that :)

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  45. Tabloids to leave readers with an abundance of emotions. They run the gamut from disgust to amusement. Great post! :)

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  46. And like us, they all write fiction!! :)

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  47. Teehee. Tabloids always have such catching titles too.

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  48. I love tabloids (I'll admit it!) My dentist's office had the best ones... and now that I don't have to go every week, I miss them! Oooooh, I remember British tabloids... so trashy (read: awesome!) Miss those too!

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  49. LOL! I love this, Talli. I went to my hairdresser today and yes, guilty! I read some trashy mags. Oh, boy do they tear people apart. No wonder some of these TV personalities and/or actors are on drugs (you have to have layers of thick skin to endure disparaging remarks). So yes, I indulge reading these mags when I'm having my hair done. ;)

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  50. I will not confess to going to the salon mainly for an excuse to read the tabs.
    And no one has ever told me to join the paparazzi because of my amazing knowledge on celebs

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  51. The only time I read the tabloids is when I'm at the supermarket and Angelina Jolie's face blares at me from the newstand as I wait to pay. I can't remember the last time I picked a tabloid up though. It's been years for sure.

    I was researching magazines for places to submit articles and even then I avoided the tabloids. Looking at them makes my head ache.

    But you are right that they have a knack for flashiness and catchy headlines. One is never left confused as to their meaning.

    Jai

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  52. Spooky! I've been writing 1,000 word features for this market for the past fortnight, in a bid to get some extra income. But it's not as easy as I thought. One mag has asked to read the sensationalist account of how my dad predicted his DATE of death but the mag that I sent my *Two car crashes in 5 months - was Somebody trying to Kill me?!* told me it needed sex. Pardon me?

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  53. Hi Talli .. not having much hair to do and letting it age gracefully I don't get to do the heavy tabloids .. but I agree any chance - it's my completely switch off mode!

    I hope there was something riveting in them .. and something to let us know about - even more important!

    Cheers Platinum lady .. Hilary

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  54. I feel like that about getting my nails done. It takes two hours to put the tips on then an hour and a half to have them re touched after two weeks. And then repeat...

    And I can't type very well when I do have them done. But, man, they look so girlie!

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  55. Over on this side of the Atlantic, the tabloids continue their relentless pursuit of making everyone believe that Jennifer Aniston is still America's sweetheart for some inexplicable reason.

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Coffee and wine for all!