Monday, September 13, 2010

Where the Wild Things Are

The Tube makes me nervous.

It's not the hurtling-through-rat-infested tracks that causes my anxiety, though: it's sitting straight across from another row of people and trying desperately hard not to look at them. Because on the London Underground, locking eyes is a definite no-no.

Forget people watching. On the Tube, you're lucky if you can engage in a spot of sneaker watching! The best thing to do is to gaze into the darkness outside the window, keeping your face carefully neutral despite whatever carnage might be going on around you.

In my years on the Tube, I've dodged nail clippings, vomit, split ends (a woman beside me was pulling them out of her hair and flinging them into the air around her) and, last Saturday, a man who felt the urgent need to relieve himself on the platform in full view of the hundred or so other people around. Just what I need to see on a Saturday afternoon!

As writers, we're told to keep our eyes and ears open for material. I'd like to introduce a caveat, for the sanity of writers near and far: except on the London Underground!

Big thanks to the most recent Blogsplashers: Christina Lee, Pauline Barclay, Cajun Delights, Elizabeth McKenzie and Kathryn Magendie (sorry, Blogger's not letting me add links for some reason!). Up to 155 now!

And you'll be happy to hear that the author speed-dating event was great fun -- thank you for all the questions! No, I did not ask about knickers. Yes, I managed to control myself!

67 comments:

  1. You could always reverse people-watch. Sit on the Tube muttering about how your grandfather always hated the colour green and what about the cows nowadays, don't they ever think about anyone but themselves? Then observe and note the behaviour of those around you, as they try to edge away.

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  2. Haha! Great post and so true. Ive been on the tube at all hours and yes, it's difficult to people watch during the busy times, but at off peak times it's much easier...until late at night when it becomes difficult again as all the nutters come out and you just don;t want to make eye contact AT ALL.

    But I have to say, shoe watching on a busy tube is quite fun too. Have you ever seen some you just love and you're dying to ask where they bought them but don't dare because speaking to strangers on the tube is a No No?! I have. And no, I didn't ask.

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  3. *Phew* Glad it wasn't just me. Every time I've taken the Tube I've felt like I need to keep my eyes on my lap, but I wasn't sure if it was a dead giveaway that I was an American tourist (and from an area where we have no mass transit).

    Still, I'd rather be in London on the Tube than in suburbia stuck in gridlock traffic. Le sigh.

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  4. Jane - I might have to give that a try! I could give the urination thing a go, too. See how that works.

    Michelloui - Oh, yes! Shoe watching can be fun, too. There are some crazy ones out there and some really dire shoe-sock combos!

    Shannon - I have to agree. :)

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  5. Sounds like dark sunglasses are a required tube-riding accessory now. It's been years since I rode the Tube. What the heck happened? I'm not sure I remember everyone being so anti-social. Sad.

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  6. Isn't the Tube the one place in London that you really feel like a tourist? I never felt comfortable on it in all my years in London, we as Irish were always used to making conversation with people so the tube felt really alien to me, tense atmosphere.

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  7. Liz - I think it's always been anti-social. Talking on the Tube marks you out as a tourist for sure.

    Brigid - I know! I used to sort of smile at people, then my husband told me to stop doing it because people were giving me weird looks!

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  8. Haha, so true! I noticed that in the London Tube. It's similar in Boston, depending on the line.

    In NY I've seen quite a few professional panhandlers. They put on a regular peformance. Fascinating but scary, too.

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  9. LOL. When I flew back to see dad, I used the tube [hate it]. I got my pad out and scribbled down a few notes about those around me. Next thing I knew folk were straining their necks to see what I was writing. Good job they couldn't see!

    A memory. 1977 I sat on the tube for half an hour. Stopped, got off while BOMB squad got on! (IRA bomb warning).

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  10. Those people sound extremely scary and icky:)

    If ever I'm blessed enough to visit London I will remember this tidbit of advice!

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  11. yes, that's why I'm always in trouble in big cities. I make eye contact. that's why I'm in trouble in Halifax - trouble of the "hey can you give me a twoonie so I can get the ferry over to Dartmouth to get my dog out of the pound?" variety. nail clippings, peeing - euuuuuuh!

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  12. omg--oh no! :D not that... I (unfortunately) don't live in an area w/a tube or subway or L. But I often visit such places, so I'm usually the one inappropriately people watching--but I'm w/you NEVER make eye contact. That just opens unwelcome cans of worms...

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  13. LOL!
    I was gonna suggest dark sunglasses but Liz Fichera beat me to it...

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  14. Reasons why I would never ride the New York subway, either!

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  15. Heh, yes, no doubt about it - plenty of source material on the underground!

    One thing I keep an eye out for is who is reading a paperback vs. who is reading an ereader. So far the paperbacks win hands down ...

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  16. I so completely second this. Keep your eyes open. Absorb material like a sponge. But please, never on the Tube. You're more likely to be permanently traumatized.

    That said, the guy relieving himself sounds like he'd made a suitably repellent character.

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  17. That's disgusting! I get your point, though - no one wants to lock eyes with a man while he's doing his... business:)

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  18. ugh, I ride the bus so I hear you on all points. I try to focus on the positive. I've come up with some great characters from riding the bus.

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  19. Oh Talli, that sounds scary. I WOULD be afraid of the "rat-infested tracks". Yikes!! If/when I get to London someday, I'll remember never to take The Tube.

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  20. Eek. I've taken the light rail in my city a few times, and have always felt distinctly uncomfortable during rush hours. But a man relieving himself -- wow. I'm glad I didn't encounter that.

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  21. Sounds like a winner of a place to be. Mayhaps you could scribble in a notebooks what you see out of the corner of you eyes.

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  22. I have to admit the Tube scares me to death when I go to London. If it's not getting lost in the winding walkways (why are they like a maze?) it's the avoiding eye/sardines in a can feeling.

    Thank God my friend goes to London all the time and takes me with her. I'd never navigate otherwise. lol.

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  23. I thought the Tubes were fun. However, I do remember seeing a man get on with dark brown pants. After a moment, I realized - he wasn't wearing pants! I also remember two scary punker dudes getting on the Tube and everyone made way for them. After a moment, one turned to the other and said "I hope Muffy's at the party." "Oh yes, that would be smashing!" Yeah, they didn't seem so scary after that...

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  24. oh Talli haven't u learned the trick of grab a metro, and stare at people while they think you are reading.
    I stared once and someone asked me what I was staring at? but then I've also got a round of applause for colourful language after a girl in stilts(wooden heels) stepped on me.
    And yep Liz we can be anti social just a lil bit though

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  25. Ew! Well, certainly you have to employ vigorous peripheral watching, or risk being puked (or something) upon.
    What you need are sunglasses where they can't see your eyes. Then you can people watch to your heart's content.
    What to do about the unfortunate smells??

    Have a wonderful week!

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  26. When I was riding the subway one day in the Bronx (and I was the only white person on the train) a woman started making conversation. "Where are you going?" "What stop are you getting off at?" "Oh, that one, no don't use that one." Needless to say, although she was incredibly nice, I felt nervous and uncomfortable.

    CD

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  27. Ummmm...I don't want to ride the tube ever again after reading this :(

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  28. The London Underground is such a cool title though, but sheesh what a sight?!?! i don't know what's worse the woman flinging split ends around(other people's hair gives me the shivers!!) or the guy relieving himself!

    I like your neutral looking into the darkness mode. That's so what I would do :)

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  29. I'd have to stare at the shoes. There's no way around it.

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  30. The tube is one of the things I really don't miss about London.

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  31. What HelenMHunt said.

    So what did you ask at the speed dating thingy?

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  32. I used to love the Tube! That quickly came to an end!

    I'd love to wear sunglasses but it looks a bit odd when there's not a drop of sun in sight.

    Queenie - I don't actually know! It was a bit of a blur...

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  33. The Tube... sounds like an interesting experience. I'm not really a people watcher. Well, okay, that's a lie. I am... sometimes. But I will make a mental note that if I'm ever in London to avert my eyes when riding the Tube. :)

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  34. What I hate most about the Tube is that every now and again you catch a glimpse of your reflection in those dark windows - a reflection that is (surely, surely, please tell me it's true) made so much worse by the bright lights. And then I think, well, okay, if that's what people are having to look at, no wonder they're averting their eyes ...

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  35. It sounds like the NYC Subway.

    There's nothing worse than peeing (except vomit). Attention Men: just because you can doesn't mean you should.

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  36. Ditto Fran and Theresa...

    I started a conversation with a mental once.

    Never again.

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  37. I saw a really hot guy in the tube once... I couldn't help it that the tube was packed and that we were ahem... very near eachother...ahem... if only I hadn't a boyfriend!!!! ;-)))

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  38. Don't be scared people the tube is not all that bad, this weirdness happens maybe once in 3 months, if it didn't the tube would be boring

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  39. It's so cool how you have a name and an icon blogsplash-- awesome! I'll be first to buy your print version but I just cannot read a book on a computer screen. Maybe I'll get a kindle for Christmas! Anyway, I'm cheering you from the sidelines!

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  40. I think it you should see it as an excellent opportunity to take in those small details you wouldn't normally notice. Such as the shoes and whether they are scuffed, worn, appropriate for the climate, have paint splashes on them.
    Otherwise, you could always close your eyes and just revise your plot while waiting to get from A to B.
    Have fun in transit.

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  41. Days like your Saturday I just want to go home and shower. Eewww.

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  42. So funny! I loved taking the Tube when I lived in London. I tend to smile at people around me, but I had to contain myself a bit when I was commuting. Thanks for the reminder.

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  43. The Tube sounds like a great place to see the latest in fashionable shoes! :)

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  44. Uh-oh. Nobody told me that. When we visited London, we looked everywhere. Loved the Tube and did a lot of people watching. Guess folks realized we were dorky tourists.

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  45. My first experience of the London underground was excitement. It ran so much more smoothly than the Sydney rail I was familiar with. I was a wide eyed tourist. My second experience with the London Underground was exactly as you described. lol.

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  46. Wow, that's scary! But look at all the character traits you've observed. Disturbing ones, but at least you have them.

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  47. They should have those tubes in America because people watching here is just funny, NY people know this feeling with subways. Well you can't just stare on the ground what if your trip is 3hrs long doll? Haha...

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  48. I like Jane's idea!
    By the way, award coming to you on Thursday...

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  49. Hi Talli,
    The NY metro is just as colourful. My favorite is the DC metro because is so clean.

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  50. The ride in the local taxi or on the local bus route will be a welcome event when you visit Canada, I bet! On the GO train in Toronto, people tend to meet and chat everyday. I think there was even a reality TV show called TRAIN once. Neat concept but it may not work in London, UK!

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  51. I love smiling at people and chatting to them when I'm on the tube because it seems to freak some of them out. I can get away with this because I'm from out-of-town. However, as you live in London, I'm with Jane - you need to reverse people-watch!

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  52. The Toronto subway is much tamer - I've enjoyed some great people watching moments there :)

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  53. No people watching on the train? I best get a pair of dark glasses so no one can see me staring. Old habits are hard to break!

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  54. WHAT?! A guy peed on the platform?!

    We don't have public transportatioin where I live and even though I don't think I'd like it, I'd love to try it, if only for all the strange people watching I'm sure to get!

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  55. The Tube sounds dreadful! And wasn't what that guy did, illegal? I will certainly remember this, the next time that I'm in London. Thanks for the tip!

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  56. Ugh, this sounds absolutely dreadful!

    I thought the Skytrain in Vancouver was bad. I will never, ever complain again!

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  57. Subways can be an awesome help to us, but every manner of creature seem to use them and/or hang in there...
    nice post Talli!

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  58. We don't have anything like the tube or trains over here and although I do find the tube fascinating when I travel on it, I'm also relieved I don't have to use it too often.

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  59. Stay away from the tube during "football" season. Seriously. Talk about scary! It's like Fight Club. In a train car. With singing.

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  60. Hi,

    OMG the London Tube? Grab a black cab is me.

    The only time I did the underground was in a group late night (household cavalry officers and girlfriends). The carriage stank, the people were exactly as you described, and so we set about with a game of charades. A few stations down the track the whole carriage was enthralled, entertained and joining in with the guessing game. It was the last time we did the tube, needless to say our male escorts were a little the worse for drink - not drunk just merry.

    best
    F

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  61. It's so long since I've sat on the tube but I do remember that No Eye contact rule...

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  62. I don't make it to London very often, but what you say is so true. And yuck for the hair pulling incident. But as a writer think about it this way - you'll learn everything you ever need about describing shoes!

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  63. This post is making me relieved that whenever I go to London I don't use the Underground - I think I'll stick to the busses :)

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  64. I'm a New Yorker, I'd stare. Who cares what they think? Uh oh, my NY attitude is showing, huh?

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  65. After having ridden the subway in Seoul, I was more than adequately prepared for the Tube. Let's just leave it at that. Chatting people up is even harder on the former than it is on the latter, let alone the bodily fluids on Saturday and Sunday mornings (some of which, ahem, may or may not have been mine).

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  66. Hi Talli .. I have to say I usually use the bus - having years ago nearly been mugged & followed off the tube - I escaped into a hotel and went out the back door - the manager took me back to the flat!

    Just what you didn't need on your way to a speed author dating do .. images .. yugh ..

    So I agree .. with your sentiments .. Hilary

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  67. Oh shoe watching is a must on the tube!! LOL! As is re-reading the metro and evening standard close up. Or pretending to be asleep. LOL!!

    Mind you I do like sneaking a peak across from the platform or from my seat - well you never know who you'll see - last time it was Clive James. I kid you not!!! Central Line, Holborn. It was so him!! Oh ok it was like years ago but it was him!!
    :-)

    Take care
    x

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Coffee and wine for all!