Monday, September 02, 2013

Handbag Highjinx

Happy Monday, everyone! If you're in North America, then I wish you a very restful Labo(u)r Day.

Today I am very pleased to welcome the very funny writer Lynda Renham, talking about her new book . . . and the contents of her handbag!

Take it away, Lynda. 

I am so excited to be on Talli Roland's blog that at first I could think of nothing to talk about, and then I realised it had to be handbags and Lady Gaga. What do the two have in common? Ah, read on to find out.

Harriet, the heroine in my new novel ‘The Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties’ which is available now on Amazon by the way, has a great deal of trouble opening her bag at a very important moment. Harriet also owns a little pink Primark suitcase which she uses for a very dodgy deal. But, read the book and you can enjoy her adventure.  Bels, the heroine in ‘Croissants and Jam’ empties her bag at the airport when she loses her boarding pass and pulls out everything from a rented DVD to a pair of knickers. She later leaves it sitting in the airport and doesn’t realise until she is many miles away, that she no longer has it.

I’m not saying I do things like that, of course not *tiny embarrassed cough* But I do have very interesting things in my handbag and I can’t help wondering if your bag experiences match mine and Harriet’s.  In my handbag at the last look I had three notepads. Well, an author can never have enough, right? There is also an assortment of bills. Oh dear, I’d better check they’ve been paid. I imagine if they have been stuck in my handbag it is unlikely, right?

 My Blackberry and a bottle of Flexall coupled with Biofreeze and I think there is some Ralgex in there. Not that I’m a hypochondriac or anything. A pair of glasses with both arms missing. Go figure. I’m attached to them what else can I say? There is a crumpled cheesecake recipe, which I will make one day. A small bag full of an assortment of pills, for headaches, diarrhoea, migraine, irritable bowel and there are some anti-histamines. I stress I’m not a hypochondriac. That reminds me I must book an appointment to get that pain in my foot checked. 

There’s my purse, covered in doctor appointment stickers. Not that I’m a hypochondriac or anything. Have I already said that? Do you think I protest too much? This is great but I can’t work out which is the next appointment now. I really should remove some, except… they are well stuck and refuse to be removed.

Oh, here is the best thing. My Lady Gaga CD which goes everywhere, so if I have the opportunity to play it, then I will. I have three combs. As you can see one is never enough for me. I believe in excess rather than moderation. The shoulder strap for my handbag which I never use, but you just don’t know do you? Better safe than sorry. Three pens, see what I mean? 

Three tubes of 4orehead. One pair of knickers, as I’m not likely to need three of them at any one time am I? Finally a pair of earrings, a tampon and a tin of cat food.

Standard contents of a handbag, would you agree?  I’m sure you have far more fascinating things in yours. I’m glad I did that actually. It has confirmed I’m perfectly normal. Anyway must fly. I have a doctor’s appointment, not that I am a hypochondriac or anything.

Enjoy ‘The Valentine Present and Other Diabolical Liberties’ where handbags are mentioned- a bit. 

Thanks, Lynda! 

You can find Lynda on Facebook, Twitter, her website, and Amazon!

I don't think I could list the contents of my handbag even if I tried - each and every handbag I own operates like a black hole where things go in, never to be seen again. 

What's in your handbag (or man-bag)?


  1. That's quite a lot to go into a handbag...

    Do backpacks count? At present, there's a newspaper, a few odds and ends including business cards, pens, odd jotted notes, an Air Miles card, and my dinner....

  2. Hi Lynda! Lovely to meet you here at Talli's blog! All the best with Harriet and her adventures with her pink Primark suitcase!

    One common denominator in all my handbags is a pack of tissues! Totally essential! Take care

  3. I've been alternating a couple of handbags over the summer and now I'm totally confused about where all my *essentials* are! Must sort out today, thanks for the reminder! Sounds like a fun read.

  4. I have a notebook to jot down points for I am a reported. Of course bills and receipts, lip balm, Vaseline, 2 purses, umbrella, since it is too hot.

  5. Nice to meet you, Lynda. Ha! I should have a 'Caution: Enter at your own risk' sticker on mine. I have learned through out the years to just 'feel' for things. My hand finds things long before my eye sees them.

  6. When I go out while I'm rough drafting:

    1) my draft notebook
    2) my idea notebook
    3) my pens
    4) my wallet
    5) my galaxy tablet
    6) my blackberry

    Yes, it's a pretty heavy bag...

  7. Hi Lynda!

    Congrats. And this sounds interesting because we do have many unmentionable things in our handbags!


  8. My bag has purse, chequebook, notebook, pens, comb, several cereal bars, keys, phone, endless cashpoint slips, ditto petrol slips, scraps of paper to remind me of stuff, diary ditto, lipstick, poo bags (clearn ones) tissues, sachets of decaff coffee, decaff teabags - and that's just for starters.

  9. Thanks for the chuckles. This post made my day! So much so, I'm gonna check out Lyndia's book. As for my handbag--usually nothing I need when I need it.

  10. Funny guest post Talli! While I don't have a handbag I can't say I'd ever carry catfood. Maybe a dog biscuit in case I'm chased by a hungry pit pull.

  11. Isn't it crazy how things just accumulate in your purse? Even my husband wants to deposit "stuff" in it. Best wishes to Lynda and her book!


Coffee and wine for all!